


When You Think You're Alone

by OctarinePegacorn



Category: t.A.T.u
Genre: F/F, Love Triangle, Out of Body Experiences, Reader-Insert, Stalking, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:18:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OctarinePegacorn/pseuds/OctarinePegacorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You got a part you wanted in one of your favorite plays. Too bad the rest of your life sucks. The girl you like probably doesn't know you exist. The only one who seems to be giving you any kind of attention is your stalker. The worst part would have to be how you can't tell anyone about her, because you're the only one who can see her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Think You're Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of "Fly on the Wall".

When you found out you were being watched, you felt like you were in some horror story. There was this spirit following you around, stalking you. At first you had no idea what her motivation was. Did she want to kill you? Steal your soul? Get revenge for something an ancestor of yours committed?

The worst part was that you had to pretend to be completely unaware. You had no idea what she would do if she realized you knew. Your little stalker would just pop up whenever she felt like it and watch you, face impassive. Even her body language was unreadable. 

[When you’re naked, in the shower/When you’re sleeping, for an hour/When you’re big, when you’re small/Oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall]

_She’s not here, is she?_ you thought as you glanced around the room, pretending to have forgotten where you put that unused bottle of shampoo. It was impossible to be too careful. She could pop up any second, ready to eat you alive with her eyes. 

_Okay, I regret thinking that. Now I can just picture the Corinthian hanging around the corner…_

Pretending to have remembered where you put the bottle, you bent down to open the cabinet under the bathroom sink. Straightening up, you placed it on the counter and pulled your shirt over your head. Dumping all of your clothes in a heap, you stepped into the shower and slid the glass door shut.

It was very cool, bordering on cold, in your apartment. As you glanced at the glass shower door out of the corner of your eye, you shivered. Anyone who looked through it would get an excellent of a nude silhouette. But the goosebumps started to disappear as soon as the droplets of hot water landed on your skin. You sighed.

Your life was pretty frustrating right now. Okay, sure, you got the part you wanted in your theater company’s play, which was nice because you’d been wanting to that play for a while. But the girl you liked was almost oblivious to your existence. She only knew you as the kid who got the part of a character that had absolutely no interaction with hers.  
***  
After your shower, you decided to take a short nap. You woke yourself up by talking. Embarrassed, you sat up. Did you stalker come in at any time? If so, had she heard anything? Your face grew hot when you remembered what had happened in the dream.  
***  
 _The theater girl was cornered. She was blushing. She confessed that she really liked you and for a minute you just felt big. Powerful. Like you knew where you were going in life and you liked it._  
***  
But you were awake now and you felt so small. Like a nobody. She didn’t love you and probably never would. If only you knew more about her, you could form a connection and then slowly win her over…

[When you’re with her, after midnight/When you kiss her, in the dim light/When you break, Barbie doll/  
Oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall]

“Hey, [name]…” 

_She_ came up to you after rehearsal. You became aware of your own blinking, which made your eyes water. 

_She probably wants some a piece of gum._

“I was wondering if…” 

_Pepper- or spearmint?_ you rehearsed in your mind.

“If you’d like to see…” She said the name of the play’s film adaption. “…? They have a showing of it at this theater that I live a few blocks away from…”

“Ah, you mean with friends or…?” 

She smiled, almost coyly. “Oh, we _could_ make it a double date…”

You were vaguely aware of your heart slamming against your ribcage. The lights seemed to brighten and your vision was getting a little blurry. 

“What time?!” you blurted out. _How common._ But her smile only widened.

The date went better than you expected. The movie wasn’t perfect. In fact, she whispered to you about the character’s flaws, how much the script was changed, etc. Not in a catty way, though. She was trying to become a better actress. Like she needed to.

She walked you back to your apartment. You were caught completely off guard when she pressed her lips to your cheek. How could they be so soft when your own were chapped from the cold outside? Pulling away, she grinned. Unconsciously, you licked your lips. She went in for the kill.

You were making out with her in the hallway, where anyone could see. And, as you slowly opened your eyes, someone was watching. Her, the stalker spirit. She almost seemed to glow in the dim light as the top half of her body hung out of the wall. 

_Please don’t be a bunny boiler. Please don’t be a bunny boiler…_ you prayed.

Her usually solemn face looked like it was going to crack. Disbelief looked like it was tearing her sanity apart. Like she thought you were all hers. A little plaything to watch voyeuristically. You failed to suppress a shiver, which the theater girl took as an invitation to stick her tongue in. That took your attention away from the ghost for a second. 

When you looked back, she looked oddly calm. It took you a moment to figure out why. _This was a first date._ Maybe she thought that you’d just use her and dump her. Your stalker might even be so delusional as to believe that you were just working your way up to her. Or maybe she had thought of the perfect way to get rid of the competition. 

You closed your eyes again and let your love interest be the one to break up the kiss. Now that you were close, you realized she looked kind of like Barbie. As in Mattel’s Barbie. But a lot prettier and not fake-looking. 

_The wall between us has been broken._

[Wanna see, who you are/Every inch, every scar/From your head to your toes/I would be there/From your bed to your clothes/I’m in the air]

Ever since you’d been supernaturally stalked, you had learned to undress differently. Instead of just taking everything off and putting your PJs on naked, you had a strict routine. Today you started with your pants.

Even with the padding in your bra, it was obvious you were cold. You threw the shirt into the laundry basket. As you buttoned up the pajama top, you saw her poke her head through your bedroom wall. 

_What does she do when she’s not watching me?_

While her face remained impassive, her eyes lit up when she realized you were changing. This was one of the reasons you only took off your bra after you were done reading in bed and ready to turn the lights off.

Pants were next. Her eyes widened and the smallest smile appeared on her face. You were wearing your new pair of light blue lace panties. As you felt her eyes scan every inch of naked flesh, you felt like a glorified stripper. 

Throwing your socks into the basket, you stood up straight and grabbed your pajama pants. As you pulled them up to your hips, you thought you heard her giggle.

Climbing into bed, you wondered why you were the only one who saw her.

[When you think you’re all alone/I’ll be down the hall/I could see it if I was a fly on the wall/What you do in your room/I could see it all/You undress, I wish I was a fly on the wall]

**Stalker POV**  
Sometimes I think [name] can see me. But I know that’s not true. No matter how much I want her, I can’t do anything about it. I want to tell her how I feel. I’ve watched her. Even before I learned how to temporarily separate my spirit from my body I would watch [full name].

I had to be more discreet back then, of course. Now I almost never see [name] when I’m actually in my body. Even when she was (completely) alone, I would be in my apartment, thinking about what she was doing. What I wanted most of all was to know more about her. 

At first it felt like a school girl crush. I don’t believe in love at first sight, so I feared that it was a mere infatuation that was eating up my mind. How could I even _think_ I was in love if I barely knew anything about her?

So I wished that I could just see [name] as she really was. To watch her without fear of being caught. Those childish yearnings actually made me feel voyeuristic, but that was the thrill, I guess. Every night, before going to bed, that’s what I thought about. What could she possibly be doing, all by herself? Was she truly alone? Surely someone as lovely and seemingly flawless as her had a lover…

Two years ago, on a chilly night, I was feeling particularly lonely. I wondered what she was doing. It wouldn’t surprise me if [name] had someone over to keep her “warm”. I already mentioned she was beautiful, but in a way that caught me completely off guard. I didn’t think I was attracted to the color of her iris, but now I feel like I could just stare into them for an eternity. And normally her body type would turn me off, and yet. Having [name] stare back into my eyes is a really pleasant thought…

_The thing I want most in the world, in the entire universe, is to see her as she really is._

Whatever entity had granted me the ability to consciously have these out-of-body experiences must have been incapable of giving the gift of mindreading. Not that I minded. That would have been boring. This way I could decipher [name], examine her and decide what her actions meant myself.

There was always that gnawing fear, in the back of my mind, that she wouldn’t be the kind of person I expected her to be at all. That suspicion turned out to be correct. She was better than anything I could have expected.

It almost made me feel bad when I watched her. So I tried not to do it for too long or too often. And [name] was so attractive. Not just physically, but she had charisma. She seemed so self-conscious sometimes. How did she not realize how charming she was?  
 **End Stalker POV**

[For the drama that you’re drinking/And the dark thoughts, you are thinking/And the love notes, that you scrawl/Oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall]

To say you were lovesick wasn’t an understatement. When you thought of your potential girlfriend, there was a slight ache in your heart. And you could really feel the acid in your stomach. Would she want to go on another date with you? 

You feared that it was only a pity date. Or a prank. Did someone ask her to do it? Maybe she thought you were desperate. She could have just gone out with you to stoke her ego. At least she didn’t find you _physically_ repulsive. She had kissed you, after all. But what if she only wanted you for your body, like the spectral voyeur?

Those thoughts, for the most part, were pushed deep into the back of your mind. Instead of worrying, you scribbled and doodled about her. Haiku and hearts with initials in them. Lyrics and fuzzy critters embracing each other.

[Silently, I arrive/You don’t know, I’m alive]

You almost forgot about your stalker with a crush. She had the ability to touch objects, when she wasn’t going through them. Reading in bed, you were trying to ignore her intense staring. When she attempted to push your radio back, afraid that it would fall off the shelf’s edge, she accidently pressed “PLAY”, turning the radio on.

“Reaching, for you/I know you’re out there somewhere~”

Instinctively, you turned your head and ended up looking her in the face. You quickly turned your head to stare at the radio, puzzled until you remembered that she could move things. 

“You can see me?” 

“It’s too dark/So cold~” continued the radio. “I know I had to come here~”

That was the first time you had ever heard her speak.

[From your head to your toes, I would be there/From your bed to your clothes, I’m in the air/When you think you’re all alone/I’ll be down the hall/I could see it if I was a fly on the wall/What you do in your room, I could see it all/You undress, I wish I was a fly on the wall/Wish I was a fly on the wall]

**Stalker POV**  
“You can see me?” 

I was so excited. Had [name] been playing hard to get? Maybe her undressing in front of me had been her way of flirting with me, like she was too shy to… But no. She just went back to her book after turning the radio off, creeped out. That’s when I remembered the little floozy that kissed her. Well, maybe her little theater buddy _wasn’t_ a floozy, but... Well, a girl who dressed like _that_ was obviously looking for attention. 

Not like this modest girl in front of me, who was probably only aware of me on a subconscious level. Disappointing, but better than not being aware of me at all. And this was the first time I had ever spoken to [name]. Why stop now?

“So you’re only subconsciously aware of me?”

She didn’t pause from her reading. 

“Maybe if I shock you again, you’ll be able to sense me more?”

[Wish I was a fly on the wall/Yeah, yeah, yeah]

I tried kissing her on the forehead and I tried kissing each individual toe. She didn’t even blink out of sync. Even when she wasn’t there, I would lie on her bed, waiting for her to return. (But I was extra careful not to neglect my own body.) The weirdest thing I did was probably inhale the scent of her clothing from the laundry hamper. I never did that when she was there, of course. Even if no one could see me, I didn’t want her to subconsciously suspect I was a creeper. But hey, that’s love.

You can probably guess what I did when I got back to my body that night.  
 **End Stalker POV**

[Ever closer, ever nearer/When you’re looking, in the mirror/I would know who you call/If I was a fly on the wall]

While she didn’t jump out and say “Boo!” or generally try to shock you in any way, her sense of personal space was rapidly decreasing. You were afraid she’d try to give you a back massage or something.

That made it harder to ignore her. Now she thought you were subconsciously aware of her, which was too close to the truth for your comfort. 

When she stood behind when you were using the mirror, shivering was the enemy. When she listened in on your phone conversations, you made sure to keep your voice steady.

Her new habit of talking to you didn’t make you feel any more comfortable. It was too late to tell her that you were aware of her presence. Then she’d ask why you didn’t say so earlier. And maybe she’d think you didn’t like her. The only thing to do was to continue ignoring her.

[From your head to your toes, I would be there/From your bed to your clothes, I’m in the air/When you think you’re all alone/I’ll be down the hall/I could see it if I was a fly on the wall/What you do in your room, I could see it all/You undress, I wish I was a fly on the wall]

She drifted over your head and lay down in front of you. It was awkward eating when someone was lying on the table, especially when her eyes were that wide. Last night she had tried lying down in bed with you for a few minutes, until she thought you were asleep and then she left to go back to her body. 

The ghost stalker started to leave a scent on your clothes from where she’d rest a hand or pat you. It wasn’t unpleasant at all, but it was so unearthly, so out of this world you wondered if it would attract other spirits or something.

The one good thing about this whole situation was that she wasn’t crazy. Obsessed, yes, but in control. She didn’t spend all of her time with you. That girl still spent the same amount of time with you as she did before she suspected your subconscious was picking up on her.

And you had actually seen her, in the hallway. Her, there, physically. She didn’t notice you; she was busy. Well, it was nice to know she had a life outside of stalking. But you couldn’t let her catch you staring at her. What if she tried conversing with you again?

[Yeah/Wish I was a fly on the wall/Yeah, yeah, yeah]

**Stalker POV**  
I was actually in my body when I saw [name] and her theater buddy in the lobby. But of course I had to ignore them. Act like it didn’t hurt, seeing her with someone else. I wanted to follow them, see if they were really happy together, but I’d have to go back upstairs, get back into my body and by then they’d be gone. I was afraid to travel too far from my body. Which was a shame, because I really wanted to see her act. Seeing her practice in front of a mirror was fine, but to see her in front of an audience…

I wish I wasn’t so afraid of leaving my body behind.  
 **End Stalker POV**

[From your head to your toes, I would be there/From your bed to your clothes, I’m in the air/What you do, on your own/I could see all/When you think you’ll alone/I would crawl/When you think you’re all alone/I’ll be down the hall/I could see it if I was a fly on the wall/What you do in your room/I could see it all]

When you came back by yourself (your almost-girlfriend misplaced her purse and needed to stay behind to find it), you tried to remain on alert. But it was hard to think. You felt so sleepy and distracted. When you bumped into your stalker, you had to swallow a gasp.

She was in her body this time. Her eyes were wide and she looked just as startled as you felt. 

“I’m so sorry!” she sputtered. “I wasn’t looking where I was going-”

“That’s okay,” you cut her off. And, before you could stop yourself “I’m [name].”

She looked at you as though she couldn’t tell if that were a joke or not. You felt a little (but not very) relieved when she smiled slightly and introduced herself.

“I live in Apartment…” she continued. Cautiously, she added “You’re an actress, right?”

“Yeah.” Your turn to be cautious. Better not ask her if she’s been to any of the plays. “I’m currently in…” The name of the play. “I’m…” You told her your part. 

Her face lit up. “Uh, I know about that play!”

She then engaged you in a conversation about the plot, the characters, the setting… She’d seen you practicing. But she knew more about the play than she should have… Did she actually look it up? She cared that much…?

“Hey?”

“Yes, [name]?”

“I have some tickets if you want to see it on its opening night. So if you want to…”

“I’d love to.”

To be continued…

**Author's Note:**

> The song on the radio was "Running Blind".


End file.
